We Don't Know Anything
by Reaping Willow
Summary: Hermione is just and innocent girl, burying herself into another year's work. Please believe her, and don't ask so many questions. Nothing is wrong.
1. Well How Was I To Know?

We Don't Know Anything

Well How Was I To Know?

Hermione had always thought of herself as a strong, confident girl, but she had overestimated herself. She knew classes would be letting out shortly, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the corner she was currently tucked into. Today was her breaking point. After the months of abuse, she couldn't take it anymore. She didn't want to be frightened anymore, but that seemed inevitable every time she stepped out into the halls. She could feel his eyes on her, weather he was actually looking at her or not. She could always feel him think about her. And why? Why was he such an angry person? Why did he have to take it out on her?

But maybe she had asked for it- maybe it was her fault. She _had_ been the one to stay after class, the reason she couldn't tell now. And he had flipped, he had become so agitated, and it frightened her. So she comforted him, placing a small adolescent hand on his arm. He looked up at her and smiled. She smiled back because he looked so young and boyish. He placed a hand over hers and thanked her. That was the last time she saw him as a caring, nice person.

He grasped her wrist and pulled her down to his level, so far that she was almost lying on the desk. She had lost all ability to speak, sputtering and trying to wriggle out of his grasp. Excusing her to a class that didn't exist, just lunch waited for her. She remembered being surprised at how strong he was, for someone so malnourished and tired looking. Looks can be deceiving.

He had probably thought she would let him do whatever he wanted without fighting. She fought so damn hard that he could barely put a solid locking and silencing charm on the classroom. He stood over her while she laid on the desk screaming and kicking. He had to use both hands to hold her down and rip her clothing off. She spat in his face and tried to claw his eyes out, but he didn't stop. All she could think of was _he groomed me_. All of those compliments and smiles during class, making her feel valued and smart. He was trying to soften her for his bidding. _I am not a dolt,_ she thought as she fought. I will not let you rape me.

Unfortunately, nothing ever goes according to plan. And he had finally broken her. Over, and over again.

The bell sounded and Hermione cried out in despair. She didn't want to leave her safe place, so she hunkered down to keep the passing students from noticing her.

The halls began to clear, and Hermione found herself able to breathe, then able to cry and sob. It wasn't fair! Why her, and why now? As she was fully growing into the beginning of adolescence and looking at boys, _really_ looking at them. Now everything had been ruined and she couldn't fathom telling anyone.

What if they thought it was her fault? What if they sneered and laughed and told her if she wasn't such a know-it-all Mudblood then she wouldn't have it coming to her? Oh, the fear she felt almost rivaled her fear of her abuser. Then she wondered if she was his first.

That sent her into fresh sobs and shakes. He was too clam and cruel for her to be his first. He wasn't that much older than she, so how many young girls had he forced onto a hard surface and made do vile, disgusting things to him? Was she the only one at the present, or were there more?

Hermione closed her eyes, and could almost feel his breath on her neck as he thrust into her, grunting and panting. She wouldn't look at him, but rather the walls and ceilings behind him. She remembered the first time he forced himself onto her, after he had beaten her into submission she had thought back a few nights ago. She recalled with shame how she had touched herself in the dark of her room, fantasying that he was touching her, kissing her, wanting her. That she was older and more womanly as he guided his member into her. That they had both wanted it. And now here she was, thirteen and frightened. Careful what you wish for, she chided herself, grimacing as his hot, sticky flesh touched her bare child-like breasts.

_You're my only_ he would whisper to her as he thrust into her. He would run his hand through her tangled mess of hair, damp from sweat and shame. _You're my only one, Hermione._ And at that she would cry out. Because he usually got tender near the end… near his release. And she would be so sore from the whole ordeal, and it was so uncomfortable for her when he spilled his seed into her. She felt dirty. And so she would cry out as he released into her, which would make him smile. _I know you're in pain,_ he once said, his mouth very close to her ear. _But I can't help pretending that you're coming when you cry out. Next time, after you cry out add on 'I'm coming.' Can you do that for me, Hermione dear?_

_Yes, Professor. _She hated him for all he made her do. She hated that he couldn't look her in the eyes during class, that he was ashamed, but not enough to stop. Not enough to apologize.

Hermione pulled at her hair and let out a strangled scream. He was killing her! She couldn't smile anymore, it hurt too much. Maybe she should just finish the job. He wouldn't actually end her life, she knew that. He would just continue on to the end of the year until he left, leaving her broken and sick to the stomach with how rotten she was.

She could go out into the lake and drown herself. It was cold enough that she wouldn't have to work very hard. The cold would shock her so much that she sank, and instead of clawing through the icy water she could stay put and breathe in as deeply as she could…

Suddenly, Hermione's stomach lurched. Her hand flew up to her mouth, and a moment of panic flash through her. She scrambled to her feet and ran from her corner, sprinting for the nearest bathroom. Which was Moaning Myrtle's, but at the present moment she couldn't care less if it was Snape's personal toilet. Hermione barely made it into a stall when she began to violently empty her stomach. She didn't eat very much at breakfast, and so she spent most of that time coughing and dry heaving. One thing that worked in her favor was the Myrtle was kind enough to leave her alone.

After Hermione was quite sure she was finished, she flushed the toilet and stepped out to the sinks. She ran the faucet, cupped her hands underneath the flow of water and brought it up to her mouth. She rinsed the rancid taste from her mouth before splashing the cool water onto her face and neck. She refused to look into the mirror and see how horrid she looked. She sighed and carefully made her way to the bathroom's entrance, maneuvering around the puddles on the floor.

She thought herself stealthy as she tip-toed from the bathroom and out into the hall.

"Miss Granger." The cold voice hit her like a freight train. She froze, not unlike the way she did whenever _he _called her name. She turned around to face Professor Snape. He was leaned against the stonewall, just down from the bathroom's entrance. "Aren't you supposed to be in class, young lady?" Hermione kept her eyes down and nodded.

"I've been feeling ill, sir," she said in a small voice.

"So I heard," he replied, his voice smooth as silk. "Why do you suppose you've been feeling sick, Miss Granger?"

"I- I don't know sir," she said, her voice smaller as she tried to shrink away from the intimidating man.

"Look at me Miss Granger." She looked up at him, and tried not to cry. He didn't _seem_ to be menacing towards her, and fear struck deep in her heart. _Does he want me too?_ Her eyes dropped to the floor, as she was unable to hold his gaze any longer." Do you need to seem Madam Pomfrey?" he asked, her voice devoid of all mocking or anger. Hermione didn't know how to reply, but she needn't as they were interrupted.

"Ah! Severus!" The voice. _His _voice, charming and light. Her eye_s _snapped up to Snape's and she could practically smell her own fear. "And… Miss Granger?" She felt him walk up behind her and place his hand on her small shoulders. She tried not to flinch, all the while keeping her eyes locked on Snape's. She couldn't read his expression, but he didn't cast her away by looking at the other man. "What are you doing out here?" he asked her, bending over her slightly.

"Miss Granger was feeling ill," Snape supplied, his eyes flickering up before returning to Hermione.

"Oh, that's too bad," her captive said, squeezing her shoulders. "Maybe I should take her to the Hospital Wing?" Hermione felt her eyes widen. She silently begged-no screamed at Snape not to let _him_ take her. Sure, he would get her to the Hospital Wing, but only eventually. Still Hermione couldn't read her Potion's professor's face, but he did speak, keeping his eyes on her the whole time.

"No, that's quite alright. I was just about to escort her." He looked back at her captor and challenged him with his eyes. "But thank you, Professor Lupin." Lupin's finger's dug deeply into Hermione's shoulders, and it was all she could do to keep from crying out.

"Oh, okay then," he said trying to keep his voice even. "Then I'll be on my way." He gave Hermione one last squeeze before walking away from them. Snape watched him walk away for a long time. When his eyes finally returned to Hermione, he watched for an even longer time.

"Alright, Granger," he said slowly and deliberately. "Let's get on the Infirmary." She nodded weakly and let Snape lead the way, although she had been to the Infirmary many times before. She felt shaken and clammier than before. Never before had she been so happy for Professor Snape being there, and he had no idea.


	2. All Around Me

**Disclaimer: Not Mine. :(**

We Don't Know Anything

All Around Me

Hermione shuffled behind Snape as they trekked to the infirmary. Hermione didn't know if Snape's impossibly long stride was on purpose, or if he really thought the petite witch could keep up with him. Her breath came in short, ragged puffs. Her heart had already been racing, and Snape's brisk pace wasn't helping. Her legs ached with each step, and hard as she tried, she couldn't even get close enough to step on Snape's cloak.

"P-Professor Snape-?"

"If you can't keep up Granger, that isn't my problem." He never looked back at her, and Hermione felt at a loss. She could feel the tears stinging the pits of her eyes, and she rubbed her eyes angrily.

"It's just, Professor Snape-" She bit back the rest of her plea, unwilling to ague any further when Snape turned on his heel and stared down at her. His menacing eyes raked over her, and she watched his lips curl in distain.

"Yes?" he asked curtly, sneering at her.

"I-" She bit her lip and her stomach gave a lurch, similar to the one she experience before her first visit to the ladies room. "I'mgoingtobesick." She covered her mouth and slipped half way behind a suit of armor before doubling over to retch and cough. _I can't even hold down water! _She thought in despair.

Hermione broke out into tears, her stomach still heaving, though it had nothing but acid left in it. She pressed her knuckles to her mouth to keep from making noise, but a few hiccups and sobs escaped, making Hermione curse and berated herself silently, and that made her cry harder.

* * *

When Professor Lupin would feel especially vindictive, he would take her into his office, but refrain from casting a Silencing spell. _Now if you make a noise, Miss Granger,_ he would say in that quiet, soothing voice he used whenever someone in his class was upset._ I'll be forced to punish you. And you know how much I like punishing you._

Hermione sobbed rather loudly as Lupin once again invaded her mind. Her knees were weak, and her stomach felt uncomfortably empty.

"Now… Miss Granger…" Hermione jumped, having forgotten that Professor Snape was behind her. She was unable to face him-too embarrassed she decided, (but also a little scared.) so she stayed facing the wall. "No one," he said carefully, "can control certain parts of their… bodily functions." Hermione straightened up, thinking she detected a bit of uncertainty in Snape's voice.

"I'm just… terribly embarrassed that you had to see that," she said finally. They stood in silence for a few moments before Snape cleared his throat and shifted behind her.

"If you're feeling up to it, maybe we can continue on?" He offered. Hermione nodded, and cast a near-silent cleaning charm before turning to face Snape. He had and oddly stony and blank look on his face as he held out an arm awkwardly, motioning for her to go on.

Hermione slipped by him, her cheeks burning redder than Ron's hair. Snape stayed behind her the rest of the way to the infirmary, and they walked in silence. Hermione felt grateful for the silence this time around, and she couldn't exactly tell why.

At the infirmary door, she stopped short to allow Snape to enter ahead of her. She kept her eyes on the ground, but that didn't stop her from feeling her potions professor's eyes of _her_. No matter, he opened the doors and swept inside, Hermione following.

"Madam Pomfrey?" He called out, though it wasn't Hermione's definition of calling out by any means, as he barely raised his voice. Amazingly, Madam Pomfrey heard him, and hurried out of her office on the other side of the room.

"Severus? Is everything alright?"

"Yes Poppy," he said, trying to sound soothing. "It's just Miss Granger is feeling a bit ill, and I was escorting her down." Madam Pomfrey bustled over to Hermione and began feeling her forehead and cheeks.

"My, my," she said, tutting as if it were Snape's, or even Hermione's, fault that she was sick. "You are rather warm and clammy. Stomach problems, deary?" Hermione nodded, even though she felt a lot better than she had been. Not fabulous, or one hundred percent, but well enough that she could maybe sleep.

"I'll be taking my leave now, Poppy. Miss Granger." Madam Pomfrey barley acknowledged him, but Hermione managed a small 'thank you, professor,' over her shoulder before Madam Pomfrey whisked her to one of the beds. She made Hermione take off her cloak, shoes and socks, and made her lie down.

"I'm going to get a potion to settle your stomach, and then you'll lay here and rest. Maybe even take a little nap, understand?" Hermione nodded as she got into the bed. Madam Pomfrey hurried back to her office and returned not even two minutes later with a cup containing bright pink liquid. It reminded Hermione faintly of Pepto-Bismol.

"Thank you, Madam," she said, taking the cup from the kindly Medi-Witch.

"No problem dear. Now just sip this until it's all gone, and get some rest. I'll be in my office if you need me." Hermione nodded and began to drink from the cup. Almost immediately her stomach felt less rocky, allowing Hermione to relax as relief flooded through her. She finished the potion rather quickly before settling back into the bed and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_Professor Lupin had delivered another amazing lesson that day. Hermione stayed behind, promising Harry and Ron that she'd catch up to them at lunch. She hesitantly approached Professor Lupin's desk. He looked up at her and smiled._

'_Is there anything I can help you with, Hermione?' He asked, putting down his quill and looking at her as if she had the most interesting thing to say. _

'_Yes, well… Sir… May we write more than half a foot on our essay?' She asked. It all came out in such a jumbled mess that Hermione was surprised he understood her at all. _

'_Yes you may' he said._

'_Are you sure it won't be a nuisance?' she asked. Immediately regretting the words the second they left her mouth. Lupin glowered at her. _

'_Well it's becoming a nuisance now, isn't it?' His voice dripped with venom. 'All you children asking for assistance and clarification. __"Oh Professor Lupin"!' He mimicked, clearly meaning it to be her. '"Can I please try to do as much work as I can,__ so I can have the brownest nose in the whole school?" It's all rubbish, you know,' he spat at her._

'_Sir-' she began, not sure what to say as tears stung her eyes._

'_You kill yourself trying to get the perfect grades, but no one cares. No one listens, because you're beneath them…' Hermione tentatively put her hand on his arm, unable to listen to his bitter ranting any longer. __He looked up at her and her heart stopped. He smiled, taking twenty years off of his face. Hermione smiled back at him, sure the worst was over. _

_She'd never been so wrong in her life. _

_Lupin put his hand over her own before slowly reaching up and grabbing her wrist. In one swift movement he pulled her down to the desk, her ear near his mouth. _

'_Dear Hermione,' he whispered, running a hand through her wild mane. 'I have you now.' He swept everything to the floor in one graceful movement, before wrenching her on top of the desk. Hermione was stunned, __but it only took her a few seconds to go from silent to screaming. Lupin didn't say anything, he just pointed his wand at her and her voice disappeared. If she couldn't scream, then she'd fight. Her brain hadn't completely processed what was going on yet, but she was sure__ now was not the time to be compliant. _

_Hermione tried to twist out of his grip. She kicked and scratched at him. And she almost got away while he tried to quickly put a silencing charm of some sort on the room and lock the door. He was quicker than she was. __He finished the spells and tossed their wands away. _How did he get my wand?_ Hermione wondered briefly. _

_Lupin tore at her clothes, popping the buttons off her blouse, ripping her skirt and knickers nearly in two, all the while battling her legs, and keeping her hands pinned above her head with one calloused hand. _

"NO!_" She screamed silently. She raged against him, turning purple as she was unable to break the spell. And Lupin… Lupin he just…just smiled at her and slipped a finger inside of her…_

Hermione woke screaming and thrashing about. Hands were on her writs and, panicking, Hermione thought that Lupin had her now. Again. "NO!" she screamed, sobbing too as the hands didn't let up. Not again! Not now!

"Hermione! Hermione!" That was not the voice of the man who haunted her dreams. It was too kind… Too feminine. Hermione fought her way into full awareness. Madam Pomfrey was standing above her, her hat and glasses askew, panting. Hermione stopped struggling. She could still feel hot tears rolling down her cheeks. "Hermione, dear," Madam Pomfrey said, alarmed still at the fit Hermione had thrown in her sleep. "Child, what happened? Are you okay?" And the fact that Hermione couldn't answer made the tears come faster.

* * *

Author's Note.

Hi, and thank you all for reading! I was so stoked when I opened up my email the day after I posted the first chapter and there were all these story alerts! And Favorites! And Some reviews! Thank you, thank you! How about next time ya'll submit more reviews, eh? You can as me questions, tell me what you think will happen, point stuff out to me, start a heated discussion... Anything is fine with me. :)

Also, I didn't say anything last chapter concerning my take on how I portray Lupin. I don't know if you all care about it, but I do. I love Remus, he's one of my favorite characters, but I recognize that he is flawed, and that after a long life of being treated like a monster I would think he would decide it wasn't worth it to be so good all the time. If they though he was a monster, then by God he'll act like one (An example on this, PoA when Sirius wants to kill Wormtail. "I'm here to finally commit the crime I was sent to Azkaban for!" /paraphrase) As this is all fiction, and left up for debate, we don't now if this would even happen, or if this is the way Lupin would act out. I'd also like to say that this is not a story just about sexual abuse. It's about enduring something horrific (real life horror guys. Not Voldemort horror (sorry Harry)) and rising beyond that, and confronting your abuser, and about healing. I've read plenty of fics with Harry or someone being abused physically and sexually and mentally, and they overcome it, but it isn't realistic, and they never confront their abuser, and I never get the feeling that the reason they're hiding what happened isn't because of embarrassment or shame, but because you don't want to looked down on or pitied and to open up about your abuse would be painful, yes, but also you would be forced to deal with it for real, and by baring your secret you're naked and everybody _knows_.

Hi, I'm Reaping Willow and that was my Soap Box for today. I hope that made sense. Now for reviewers!

**sweet-tang-honney**, **jessirose85, lk-hogwarts-headgirl, and Madhatter45-** Thanks!

**AlmaLinda- **I was hoping to see if someone thought it was Snape. I gave little hints that would prove otherwise but I wondered if the overall effect would work. Yeah, Cannon Lupin has a tighter screw, so to speak, but I was just wondering what if... After this I'll have to apologize to him by writing him with a hot super model and taing his lycanthopy away. :)

**2angelwings-** I live to shock and amaze. Let us not forget that Snape can be thick if he wants to, and a prat (love you Severus!), not to mention a thick prat. Not to cruh your hopes and dreams or anything... ;)

**Beautiful-Liar13-** I don't know. Will she be pregnant? 0.0!

Thank you all for reading and then enduring my rambling (please read the whole author's note. It can be a point of discussion.) and then my sarcasm in my direct replies to my wonderful reviews (note the smileys!), see you next time!


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